So, I went into the kitchen to get the last of my apple juice from the fridge, and there was a guy there who was opening a can of tuna. He turned to me, and the following dialogue ensued (I've translated it to English; it was in German originally):
He: Can I speak with you briefly?Ok, so I didn't say the "dickweed" part. But I definitely thought it, and all the rest of the dialogue actually happened.
I: (blank look that said, "really, bitch?") ...um, yeah.
He: Why are you so quiet?
I: Why should I be loud?
He: I mean, why do you never hang out in the kitchen with the other people on this floor?
I: ("bitch, please" look) ...
He: I mean, you're never here with the other people on this floor. Do you not like us or something?
I: Actually no.
He: I mean, so, the people on this floor--you don't like them or what?
I: No, actually, I don't like the majority of people on this floor. They make me mad. (I start to walk out the door)
He: Ok, just wanted to ask. Have a good night.
I: (walking out the door) Yeah, you too, dickweed.
Maybe I wouldn't have been so snippy with him if it hadn't already been a rough night for me. See, there's this one guy on my floor who kinda bothers the hell out of me...well they all kinda bother the hell out of me. But this guy kinda intimidates me too. It's like this: at the beginning of the semester when I first moved in here, I tried to be friendly toward my new neighbors. When I saw them in the kitchen or in the hallway or whatever, I'd smile and wave or say "hi," and most of them would do the same. Or at least they'd fucking nod or show some sort of acknowledgment that I had greeted them. Well this one dude who lives on my floor and whom I've seen since the very beginning (when I first moved in here, there weren't so many people, so I didn't see many people) must hate me or something, because every time I would try to be friendly and smile/wave/say "hi" to him, he never said or did anything other than give me a look like he was disgusted I would dare try to be friendly to my new neighbor (heaven forbid!). But still I persisted, hoping that one day he'd come to accept me as fellow resident and neighbor, if not friend, in this shitty excuse for a dorm, we call Eichendorffring. Because Lord knows it can be rough when you have to live next to, and share common living space with, people who apparently think you're the scum of the earth.
Well eventually, we had to have a floor meeting, because the retards on my floor didn't seem to understand the fact that they are not the only ones who use the kitchen. i.e. you need to clean up after yourself when you're done in the kitchen, dumbasses; neither I nor anyone else wants to deal with your dirty shit laying everywhere. And so there were fliers posted on the door leading outside and the door leading into the kitchen and the door to the bathroom and even inside the kitchen itself. Well, one day, I was going into the kitchen to get something from the refrigerator, and that dude that always gives me dirty looks, along with a few other residents of the floor, was in there. They were all doing various things; I think our local shithead was cooking dinner or something. And when he sees me, he gets all pissy with me: "Did you see the fliers about the meeting this Wednesday?" he demanded to know (not asked; demanded). What a stupid question! Of course I'd seen them, fuckwad; I'm not blind. I was taken aback by the forcefulness of his voice and face, and I just answered that yes, I had seen them. And he continued to harass me: "You MUST be there!"
"Ok," I answered. "I'll be there."
He continued, even more forcefully, with such anger in his voice and on his face: "Do you understand me??! You MUST be there!!!"
What part of "Ok, I'll be there" do you not understand, shitbag? And doing this in front of several people who could have potentially been friends of mine? Obviously this was some sort of intimidation tactic. Or some stupid dick-waving contest.
So, I've avoided that stupid motherfucker like the plague when I can help it--I don't go in and cook dinner when he's in the kitchen; hell, I don't even go into the kitchen when he's there, if I can at all help it. And when I can't help it, I either ignore him or act rude to him. Once, during that stupid floor party that I wouldn't have condescended to attend even had I not had to give a presentation the next day, I made sure to elbow him out of the way when he was blocking my access to the refrigerator. Serves him right, the shitfucker! Think you can fuck with me and get away with it? Think again, fuck face.
Anyway...so, that guy was in the kitchen tonight when I wanted to make dinner... and when he's in the goddamned kitchen, he's in there for hours. Takes his sweet old time cooking a shit ton of food and then gleefully eating it in front of the TV, while yelling "SCHEISSE!!!" at the top of his lungs. So I didn't eat much tonight. Therefore I'm hungry because of idiots on this floor who piss me off, and when I finally go back to kitchen to get something from the fridge, and some little shit (who I'm 95% sure is responsible for at least a third of the noise that goes on at unreasonable hours in this hall) has the balls to ask me why I'm so quiet and why I don't hang out with the other people in this hall, how the fuck do you think I was going to respond???
Let's see...someone from this floor has stolen from me, not once, but TWICE; the fridge and practically everything else here is a piece of crap that doesn't work properly; I get yelled at by an asshole for not even doing anything; you fuckers threw a huge party that could be heard from 5 floors above and that lasted until at least 4 in the morning on the night before I had to give a presentation; and random people go screaming down the halls. Yeah, I don't like you. You people piss me the fuck off like no other. I hate this overpriced, tiny-ass shitbox of a room (two-fucking-hundred-and-thirty euros a month for this kennel...and look, it comes with its own dog shit!!!). You can all shove this building up your ugly asses and go fuck yourselves in Hell.
Fuck you, Scheissendorffring!
I love this post! I empathize! :)
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